So lately I have been severely obese. This what my weight was like throughout the years. (in Fall)
- 2018: 75 kg
- 2019: 72 kg
- 2020: 65 kg
- 2021: 69 kg
- 2022: 72 kg
- 2023: 75 kg
- 2024: 86 kg
Obesity is a serious problem. I am now strongly against being fat. A good baseline is below 73 kg.
This is humiliating and embarassing. Along came academic failure, depression, staying up all night. (or evidence suggests that this is the effect rather than the cause)
I am very obese right now. My BMI is around 28.
So I am planning a fast to lose my weight.
I found dark chocolates not effective at all in reducing hunger. People say dark chocolates will make you "full", and you will eat less snacks. I bought a bag of 90 percentage dark chocolate from Belarus. I am still very hungry after eating 100g.
I can't starve myself to death. Starving myself until strength left my arms and legs is a very bad idea, my legs would twist when walking and it's very dangerous.
It is depression that is holding back the weight. Normally when I walk or just do anything my weight goes down, but now like my weight keeps fluctuacting even when I do long walks and eat 1 meal a day with only liquid otherwise. I remember eariler this year around April or May when I started eating 1.5 meals a day back then, and I didn't lose any weight at all because of the huge depression, then i went to Hong Kong and it was simply too hot to get out anywhere in the summer, and I gained huge amounts of weight. You don't get to lose any weight while depressed.
My parents were fat shaming me all the time and calling me a fat pig and it impacted my mental health very badly. My mom compared me to my failing aunt. "You are just like your aunt, fat, stupid, always failing, relying on parents, poor, true sucker in life!"
I am asking myself, "Do I want to be a swine? or a healthy human being?", "What caused me to become a pig?" "Why did I choose to be a dumb swine?"
By the way, here is a YouTube video where they teach you how to butcher pigs. Another question arises, "Do I want to be killed and butchered, then used for food?"
Anyway, I am eating only 1 meal a day (dinner) right now, and only snacks otherwise.
For reference
- 72/177/177: 22.98
- 70/177/177: 22.34
- 68/177/177: 21.71
Some clarifications
I am all for body positivity! I believe that just being fat doesn't bring harm to other people's health! I believe that being fat doesn't undermine other people's worth!
I must say, weight losing isn't for everyone. Many fat people are very strong and just great at everything. Many people are fat and invincible. They are healthy and defeat everyone else while being very very fat. But it's not for me. I can't be fat.
Just like gaming! Some people game all day long and succeed in everything, some people game and learn from gaming, a lot of people top everything while gaming and being fat, well that doesn't stop the fact that gaming is toxic and life-threatening to me.
For me it's very necessary. I don't want to be a swine, to be dumb like a swine, slow like a swine, stupid like a swine, useless like a swine.
I just found fish is an excellent food.
| Date | Weight (kg) |
|---|---|
| 1125 | 86.3 |
| 1127 | 86.3 |
| 1128 | 85.2 |
| 1129 | 84.3 |
| 1130 | 84.2 |
| 1201 | 84.0 |
| 1202 | 83.5 |
| 1203 | 83.4 |
| 1204 | 83.3 |
| 1205 | 82.7 |
| 1206 | 82.4 |
| 1209 | 84.0 |
| 1212 | 83.1 |
| 1213 | 82.2 |
| 1215 | 82.8 |
| 1217 | 82.4 |
| 1218 | 83.4 |
| 1222 | 82.1 |
| 1223 | 81.8 |
| 1225 | 80.8 |
| 1226 | 79.9 |
| 1227 | 79.2 |
| 1228 | 79.5 |
| 1229 | 79.7 |
| 1230 | 79.8 |
| 1231 | 79.9 |
| 101 | 79.9 |
| 102 | 79.8 |
| 103 | 79.8 |
| 104 | 79.7 |
| 106 | 80.0 |
| 107 | 80.0 |
| 108 | 79.4 |
| 109 | 79.1 |
| 110 | 78.8 |
| 111 | 78.9 |
| 115 | 78.4 |
| 116 | 78.7 |
| 117 | 78.7 |
| 119 | 77.9 |
| 123 | 78.5 |
| 124 | 77.7 |
| 202 | 77.2 |
| 203 | 76.9 |
| 213 | 78.3 |
| 214 | 78.5 |
| 215 | 77.9 |
| 216 | 77.7 |
| 228 | 78.8 |
| 301 | 77.6 |
| 302 | 77.5 |
| 303 | 77.8 |
| 306 | 77.3 |
| 307 | 77.8 |
| 311 | 78.5 |
| 317 | 78.3 |
| 320 | 77.8 |
| 330 | 77.2 |
| 331 | 77.3 |
| 401 | 77.4 |
| 403 | 76.9 |
| 408 | 77.8 |
| 409 | 77.2 |
| 410 | 77.9 |
| 417 | 76.8 |
| 419 | 77.1 |
| 420 | 77.1 |
| 422 | 77.9 |
| 425 | 77.2 |
| 429 | 77.2 |
| 501 | 76.9 |
| 511 | 77.0 |
| 512 | 77.5 |
| 514 | 76.5 |
| 515 | 76.0 |
| 516 | 76.6 |
| 517 | 76.6 |
| 520 | 76.8 |
| 526 | 75.9 |
| 527 | 75.8 |
| 601 | 76.0 |
| 602 | 75.7 |
| 605 | 75.6 |
| 607 | 75.7 |
| 611 | 75.8 |
| 618 | 76.2 |
| 620 | 76.1 |
| 621 | 76.1 |