Socializing and Isolation

• Don't withdraw or plan to withdraw from the society. Don't inflate your ego too much or fall into hating others. (See the "bitterness" section) Still prepare to reintegrate back after leaving this place and be reasonably social.
• Obviously acknowledge that I was placed in periphery environments since 11. The backwater places are objectively terrible socially.

А я у чужому краю
Серце спокою немає
Гей, гей, гей, соколи
Оминайте гори, ліси, доли
Дзвінь, дзвінь, дзвінь, дзвіночку
Степовий жайвороночку

(Гей, соколи)

"Bitterness"

• Just the fact that most people aren't doing the same thing you are doing, doesn't mean that they did anything wrong to you.
• It is probably true that I will face some problems socializing if I move back to a big city because I spent all my years in "глушь" places alone. (Modern marriage seems to me like a present tense thing. Acknowledge it but it does not have to come with hatred or coldness towards people. And it's not just me, it also affects a lot of other people.)
• As long as your efforts pay off, you get what you want, and they don't block your path later on, you are doing great! (In fact, I am one of the extremely luck ones so far, and it took many people far more time and energy)

Weakest Link and Strongest Spikes

Schools (Chinese Gaokao, American party culture, obedience to teachers and authorities, some corporate HR) filter you for your weakest link, while your strengths gets hidden. I always have glaring weaknesses and troubles here.

For some other things (math competitions, media, sports, music occupations, or perhaps entrepreneurship), your strongest spike is mostly what matters. The punchline is that most people don't have a spiky talent in even one thing!

Thinking Problems and LLM

A "thinking problem" is when you try to use logic to solve an emotional problem, such as loneliness, boredom, or shame. ("How do I compare to other people", "What is my true identity?", "What's the possibility of marrying at some age?", "Put a counterfactual in my life, what happens?") You can't think your way out of an existential question.

Also stop wasting time talking to LLMs endlessly.

Tiny Bubble

You understand you grew up in a tiny bubble, and most other people are different, and you stop having delusions about other people. There is an invisible wall between social circles. The thing is to stop asking "why" because you can't cross the "invisible wall" in terms of your differences in lifestyle, education, geographic preference, and materialistic values. Just stop trying to "fit in" and spend your time alone if you don't feel like it.

It takes a very young, naive, sheltered mind to romanticize things like living in hostels or moving to red America or becoming friends with people from all backgrounds. People stick to their tribes like glue.

I share 50% in common with "obedient Chinese immigrants", while some other traits are very different. For example, I prefer to speak and write in English. You might not like them for their blind obedience, terrible English, or utilitarianism. But if you try to go out of this bubble and go out of good zip codes, maybe you share 5-10% in common with a random person. When you leave China, you usually like China and the Chinese people a bit more.

Strict Management of Daily Tasks

Strictly manage your daily tasks so that you know what to do everyday.

• Lose weight
• Go for walks on the weekends

What if you literally don't want to do anything? You go for a walk.

Music Vibes

• Кубанский казачий хор. Концерт в Омске

Копав, копав криниченьку у вишневому саду.
Чи не вийде дівчинонька рано-вранці по воду.
Маруся раз, два, три, калина.
Чорнявая дівчина в саду ягоди рвала.

(Розпрягайте, хлопці, коні)

Conclusion

• Accept the situation in the backwater for what it is, but don't lose hope, it's just a tradeoff for work.
• Manage your schedules more strictly.